October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and we are always thinking of innovative ways for people to feel help, hope, and healing. DVWMT has been including males for the last ten years. Male victims are never the subject when it comes to domestic violence, especially when it comes to national attention. We tell males, "Men don't cry" or "Men don't show feelings," and we are proving that's a lie and will remain a lie.
In the video, you will hear the men talking about childhood, adolescence, and adulthood with domestic violence. These stories of men are good reasons why men and boys should be included in the laws against domestic violence. You will also see the "Brokenness to Boldness" monologue of QueenAfi and Charity. Joyce Blackwell's "Tap Tap Click," a poetry rendition of QueenAfi's story, is unmatched. Lastly, you will hear what our audience thinks about male victims sharing their stories. Get eye-opening, fresh perspectives from the audience.
HURTFUL STIGMA'S BY
PARENT(S), PARTNER, FRIENDS AND EXTENDED FAMILY TOWARD MEN AND BOYS:
1. The media tells us men are
just the perpetrators of violence, but never victim
2. Men who are gay or bisexual
deserve it because of their sexual orientation
3. Men are punks if they can't
handle a parent or partner hitting them
4. Men are always lying about
the abuse they've taken
5. Men don't stay because of
their children
6. A man tells another man, “Men
can't be victims."
7. Abusers weren't victims first
8. You must be a fag, if you
can't handle your partner
9. You are lying, I've never
allowed my abuse to hurt you
10. Just give your partner sex
it works every time
THINGS TO CONSIDER
CONCERNING MALE VICTIMS:
1. Battered men think that they
will not be taken seriously if they went to the authorities to report because
of the stigma that domestic violence only happens to women and not men
(Neeley-Bertrand, 2010).
2. Domestic violence is not just
experienced in the heterosexual community but also in the homosexual community.
Greenwod (2002) stated that. Males who are gay or bisexual are abused by their
partner at a rate of 40%. The common types of abuse that male victims
experience is emotional, physical, and psychological.
3. Men tend to stay in abusive
relationships for the same reasons that women do because they blame themselves
for the abuse, there are children involved, and have some type of dependency as
it relates to the abuser.
TEEN DATING VIOLENCE: 13.4% of
male high school students report being physically or sexually abused by a
dating partner (NCADV, 2010).
EMOTIONAL ABUSE: About one in
three (33.3 percent or 37.2 million) US men experienced contact sexual
violence, physical violence and/or stalking by an intimate partner during their
lifetime (CDC, 2015).
HIGHLIGHTS OF REAL MEN
VICTIMS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE:
1. Golf champ's wife attacked him
after he bombed at tournament:
That’s what happened after
professional golfer Lucas Glover was attacked by his wife Krista for missing
the cut at the Players Championship in May 2018. Although he and his mother both
had fresh lacerations after the altercation with Krista, Glover tried to
convince the sheriff’s deputies not to arrest her. But the deputies did so
anyway, charging her with domestic battery and resisting arrest.
According to the police report,
Glover said that “when he plays a bad round of golf, Krista proceeds to start
an altercation with him and telling him how he is a loser and a p‑‑‑y, how he needs to fire everyone, and how he’d better win, or her and
the kids would leave him and he would never see the kids again.”
2. Army ranger uses GoPro to catch wife’s
domestic violence on video:
A Florida man used a GoPro strapped to
his belt to catch his estranged wife’s abuse of him on video — and it was
enough to put her in jail. WTSP reports that the Army ranger, who is being
identified only as Michael, is in the middle of a divorce and custody battle
with the woman, Corinne Novak, 37. They have twin two-year-olds.
Michael has been tying the GoPro to his belt using a parachute cord to record what happens between he and Corinne. Footage caught last week appears to show Novak grab Michael’s genitals as he reached into the car to unbuckle one of his sons. Novak is then heard threatening to say Michael had assaulted her if he called police. But the video landed Novak in jail, WTSP reports, for domestic battery.
MALES AREN’T TAUGHT TO DEVISE AN EXIT:
Males
aren’t taught to devise an exit strategy; they are taught to not show emotions,
which has nothing to do with them being in a healthy relationship. This has
been happening since 1975, when feminists never considered that their sons
could be victims of domestic violence. I've done research, and many domestic
violence websites and write-ups do not focus on men devising exit strategies to
leave an abusive relationship. This is unacceptable when these websites and
write-ups suggest domestic violence has no profile. Males, if you are going
through an abusive relationship, whether heterosexual or homosexual, reach out
in secret; you don’t have to suffer in silence.
DVWMT blogs thoughtfully provide
you with education, encouragement, and cognitive empathy toward correctly
viewing our hard-topic dinner table conversations as enlightening, essential
truth, needed transparency, and fresh perspectives for communities and
families.
References:
Centers on Disease Control and
Prevention’s National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey: 2015 Data
Brief:
National Intimate Partner and
Sexual Violence Survey 2010
QueenAfi
Mental Health Consultant &
Founder DVWMT
FB@DVWMT96
Twitter@ViolWearManyTag
IG@_ViolWearManyTag
DVWMTS@gmail.com
